Why The Stories You Tell Yourself Need To Change4 min read

Most of you are one decision away from a completely different life.

Yet, many of you aren’t able to realize this because of old, outdated stories that loop inside of your heads.

What kind of stories? Well for one, you didn’t wake up one day with these stories. Most likely, these stories started ages ago.

Parents or some other significant caretaker planted seeds during your childhood. The stories could also come from a teacher, a friend or even a romantic partner.

But, now that you’re older, the seeds have blossomed into full-blown massive oak trees. Solid and unmovable. Some stories serve you well, while others not so much.

The Impact Of The Stories You Tell Yourself

Are you wondering what your story is? Which one of them have you been carrying around with you like a bag lady?

A reflective question to ask yourself is how does the story feel? For example, do the stories make you feel as if you’re not enough? Because its sole purpose is to magnify your negative self-talk and negative feelings. 

Just notice, each time you’re ready to level up the stories show up. It’s collected misinformation of you (from others) that amplifies your self-doubt and insecurities. Again, usually, the story comes from a voice from your past, (i.e. mom or dad).

It’s pretty hard to achieve your goals when those stories are replaying in your head. 

In fact, man of you believe these stories so much, to pull away from them means to risk losing identifying with them. In other words, those old repeated stories become part of your identity. You become who the stories say you are. 

Likewise, the more you recycle these negative stories the more negativity that surrounds you. Which inevitably, helps to reinforce, validate and continue the loop.

The Reason You Can’t Stop Telling Your Story

Do you know someone who repeats their story as if they are telling you their favorite part of a movie? A better question is, is that you?

Usually, the story has elements of passion and pain. It’s as if they are reliving the very moment right in front of you.

Well, that’s because there’s comfort in retelling the story. It becomes so habitual that many of you don’t even realize it’s happening.

Most of the time it’s because you haven’t dealt with the trauma associated with the story. In other words, the unresolved pain is the villain in the driver’s seat attempting to veer you off course.

Note that retelling the story feeds the loop like wood to a fire. And, what happens when you continue to feed it? It’s satisfying. There’s actually a sense of comfort that is felt by retelling your story.

Because it validates you as a victim. While also validating that not so good feeling inside. Depending on the situation, it either keeps you right or it keeps them wrong. In the end, it’s not about right or wrong, it’s about progress. It’s about learning the lessons so you don’t become a hostage of your old story. Because when that happens, it throws a wrench in your growth. 

Once you become a hostage it prevents you from changing and absorbing the new narrative. It’s critical to change the narratives because that’s how your life changes for the better. 

But because you’ve learned how to tell your story so well, you’ve convinced yourself that these stories are true. But they’re not. The stories you tell yourself are lies because remember, they weren’t your words to begin with.

Change Your Story Change Your Life

At any given moment you can change your story. You can reject what was told to you during your childhood. You can reject any and everything that isn’t helpful to your growth.

But it takes getting to the root of it and asking yourself who’s voice is this in my head? There are several stories inside of your head right now that are holding you back. If you’re feeling stuck, then it’s important to extract these stories and then confront them.

Next, ask yourself, could the opposite of your story be true? Let’s play around with this idea.

What if the thing your worried about does work? What if you can heal those wounds so you can find more peace? What if you are capable? What if he or she says yes? What if you are enough?

The energy you use to remain loyal to old stories is exhausting. Why not flip the script and use that energy to tell a story that works in your favor instead?

You have the power to decide what you allow to fester inside of your mind. When you hold on to unhelpful and disempowering stories they end up keeping you stuck. They prevent you from the much-needed growth you need.

Imagine how you would feel over time if you stopped telling those stories? What would happen to your world if you committed to shifting shifted your perspective?

Know that you have the power to control your narrative. Begin the process of rewriting your narrative. A narrative that supports you in becoming the best version of yourself. 

Do you know someone who could benefit by reading this article? Please share it.

Be sure to follow on Instagram so you can be inspired to defy the resistance.

 

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