Life is sometimes dark, isn’t it? But it’s in those moments you need everything at your disposal to pierce your way through the murkiness. In those moments, you can’t help yourself, and the only thing that you can do is collapse on your knees.
You’re beholden to this darkness if you don’t learn how to move through it. This is what I call a meltdown. Often meltdowns may last many years because you resist their infinite powers. And you resist its golden lessons that are masqueraded in acute pain and agony.
The kind of agony that has you gripped to fleeting thoughts of suicide. Gripped to the grim shadows while sobbing in an isolated corner of your icy bathroom floor.
Because you’re gripped by this idea, there’s nothing left for you.
But what happens when you immerse yourself in a meltdown?
You have a breakthrough.
This breakthrough is the way out of the obscurities that permeates your life.
In your suffering, you’ll find your breakthrough
Often breakthroughs occur when you’re experiencing a profound emotional change and shift in your life. You’re suspended in a confused state of mind because something terrible has happened to you.
It could be a breakup, a career change, loss, etc. Or what Christine Hassler calls it, an expectation hangover. This occurs when the one thing you’ve wanted more than anything else in this world, the one thing that you’ve worked so hard for and cultivated doesn’t happen––it crushes you.
An expectation hangover is when life punches you in the face. It knocks the wind out of you thus overwhelmed by your emotions as they wrap themselves around your trachea.
I’ve had a lot of meltdowns in my life, but not all of them led to breakthroughs. These meltdowns consisted of one toxic relationship after another or staying in a lousy job way past the expiration date.
Furthermore, you find yourself in the cycle of chaos with your meltdowns on a merry go round. And you’ve convinced yourself that you can’t get off. This chaos usually involves the same characters. And it’s always the same story. With you as the protagonist.
As I said earlier, it’s through your suffering and pain you gain the most profound insight.
The meltdown is the revelation, and the breakthrough is the North Star.
So, why do you fight it?
Why do you resist the very thing that will liberate you?
Holding on is part of the experience just don’t forget to let go
If you resist this transformation, you’ll become chained to your darkness for an indefinite amount of time. Often you hold on because of your ego. It’s the “I can’t believe this is happening to me” conversation. Or the “Why is this happening to me” question.
Your ego says keep fighting. You’re stuck between what you think you are and who you actually are. But this is why many of us hold on to those toxic relationships, or we have these expectation hangovers because we resist admitting the truth.
We resist the change that is before us. You’ll have to admit to failure. The ego doesn’t like that. And you’ll have to come to terms with some painful conclusions.
If you sit with the meltdown long enough without judgment, without resistance and without rushing to the finish line your perspective of yourself and your whole life will shift.
The meltdown ushers you to the breakthrough which becomes the fork in the road. People are usually sprinting back to their old selves or scared stiff, standing in front of the road.
Breakthroughs Are Caterpillars Waiting To Become Butterflies
A breakthrough grounds you. Because it helps you to remain in the present moment. Moreover, a breakthrough is a blessing. It’s also a huge responsibility because once you have your breakthrough, you can’t and won’t be the same person ever again.
A lot is required of you afterward. Know that the decisions that you’ll have to make are going to make you want to vomit. It’s truths that you’re accepting for the very first time.
As Robert Wright calls it, “Enlightenment is incremental.”
Once you start entering enlightenment, you crave more of it. Because now you’ve been stretched. You’ll find yourself searching and filling your life with more things and people who support this new sense of self.
Breakthroughs are ways you level up. You increase your emotional maturity, and you become a better problem solver. In essence, breakthroughs increase your resiliency.
Life is unpredictable.
Therefore the more resilient you become, the easier it is to bounce back — because you’ve learned to master your emotions. Understand that breakthroughs are the birthplace of ideas. Just the other day, I felt off. I felt sad and a bit out of place.
I didn’t know what I needed (suspended in a confused state of mind), but I knew something just wasn’t right. Journaling, meditating, and talking with loved ones are paramount for clarity during breakthroughs.
After meditating, I had a conversation with a friend and discussed my feelings. Come to find out we both were feeling the same way. I could’ve run from this “mini-meltdown.” And, I could’ve decided not to share it.
But I didn’t. I stayed with it. As a result of that conversation I received an incredible idea for my next project and so did she. So you see, all of the sickened and uncomfortable meltdowns, the resistance, and the process of a breakthrough leads you to existential solutions.
Your Job Is To Have As Many Breakthroughs As Possible
Next time you’re experiencing an emotionally charged meltdown I want you to do one thing — sit with it. Explore it. Write it out, meditate, or talk about it with someone you trust.
Because what follows after a meltdown is a breakthrough. This is your opportunity to elevate yourself. This is your chance to become more attuned with your intuition, thoughts, and feelings.
You are the caterpillar, waiting to develop its kaleidoscope wings begging to be freed.
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