The Real Reasons Why You’re Not Pursuing A Life That Matters7 min read

A life unpursued.

Without a warning, my father died. And with him so did his dreams. 

His gifts and talents lay next to him in his coffin, like the jewels of a Pharaoh. 

That’s the story for most people. Most of you won’t pursue what you’re here on this Earth to do.

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

Les Brown

Fear stops the pursuit in its track but resistance keeps it alive, like a burning reminder of what could be. 

Thus, you must defy the resistance. Because when you defy the resistance you achieve the greatest potential within yourself.

Even more so, resistance keeps you stuck. This is why it’s necessary to defy it.

How Do I Identify The Resistance

There are many ways to identify resistance. 

Resistance can be as subtle as a Netflix and chill night. Or as glaring as never finishing that book you started. It’s an extreme form of procrastination and another form of self-sabotage.

It’s the thing you know you’re supposed to do but you’re not doing it. It’s the thing you obsess about pursuing. Yet, you push it away on purpose. Or it lingers in your subconscious mind. 

I bet some of you are thinking, I don’t have any gifts or talents. 

But you do. 

Some of you aren’t pursuing them because you’ve developed that story in your head that’s been looping for years. But you do, it’s buried underneath the noise. Your gifts and talents are suffocating from that job you hate. 

Listen, you are a special gift from the Universe. The world created you out of a billion particles. You landed in this space, in this time. Which means you matter, a lot. And your message matters. 

To hold on to your gifts and talents is selfish because the world needs it. They need what you have. But you have gifts and talents you’re not pursuing because you’re too frightened. 

Let Your Desires Be Greater Than Your Fears


Fear is a natural reaction that alerts humans to notice their surroundings. 

So, in some cases, it’s there to protect us. But, fear also doesn’t know the difference between what is real fear and perceived fear. All it knows is, it’s scared right now based on physiological responses. 

Thus, in reality, what you’re fearing with your eyes and thoughts is a mismatch between biology and logic. Fear is a false perception of what is real. 

When you feel fear, ask yourself what is it that you are feeling? Be candid. Ask yourself what is the worst-case scenario of your fear? Then ask yourself has any of it ever came true? For example, I have a friend who has a strong fear of being homeless and jobless, yet this fear has yet to come to fruition. 

Fear limits you and holds you hostage like a criminal in a cell. But the cell is your mind. So, the best way to overcome fear is to confront it, to face it with all your might. Accept that it’s okay to feel fear but don’t live in fear.

Manage fear by taking more action. When you take action the grip fear has around you loosens. 

Defying The Resistance Helps To Unstuck You

You can become unstuck. 

You can finally pursue your calling. But it won’t be easy and it will take daily (conscious) practice. 

Because resistance will be there, ready to slow you down.

Again, it’s procrastination. You’ll find yourself self-sabotaging the opportunities that come your way. Resistance presents itself through self-limiting beliefs and thoughts. When activated, these elements bring you to your knees. In other words, it places a hard stop on your dreams.

Resistance appears the moment you are called to do what matters the most. When what you want to create, be and do is bigger than you, the more likely resistance will present itself. But it doesn’t have to be this massive life-changing life transformation. 

In The War of Art by Stephen Pressfield (affiliate link), he describes it as an internal war, hence the title of the book. It’s a war within yourself that you must battle so you can begin to live a life you love. A life filled with meaning. A life that matters. 

“Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”

Stephen Pressfield

Defying the resistance means to interrupt it, to not allow it to get the best of you. You have to overthrow resistance each time.

The best way to interrupt it is by recognizing it’s there. I handle resistance by naming it. By acknowledging its existence. I say out loud, “Hey there resistance, thanks for letting me know this means a lot to me. But, I’m going to get to work now on my dreams. I’m sure we’ll see each other soon.” 

Why is this important? Because most people walk through life ignoring the resistance. But, ignoring it connects them deeper to it. Each time you acknowledge the resistance and follow it with an action you weaken it.

For example, by sitting down and writing a page for your book––you defy the resistance. Or instead of spending 30 days not writing in your book you commit to writing in it for one week out of the month. 

Defying the resistance requires a conscious and deliberate choice. Which means, it takes practice (and effort). The more you defy the resistance the less amount of time it spends hanging out with you. 

Each Time You Defy You Strengthen Your Self-Worth

Let’s be honest, you are stuck in resistance because a huge part of you doesn’t believe you’re worth it.

You don’t feel you deserve it. You don’t feel your gifts, talents, and ideas are worth being seen by you, let alone the rest of the world. Resistance comes with many self-limiting thoughts. Thoughts that say, “I’m not good enough” or “No one is going to read my book even if I did publish it.”

But remember this, you matter. Your dreams matter. You have gifts and talents and they matter too. The more you practice defying the resistance the more resilient you become. 

Again, someone needs what you have to offer. You will impact some by what you have to give. It doesn’t have to be a massive impact. It has to be meaningful. 

If doing it for the rest of the world scares you, then do it for yourself. 

“We must do our work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause.”

Stephen Pressfield

Below is a message from Steve Jobs. Trust yourself to step forward into creating a life you love to live.

A message from Steve Jobs.

Do you know someone who could benefit from reading this article? Please share it.

Be sure to follow on Instagram so you can be inspired to defy the resistance.

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