There’s no waiting to change.
It’s a proactive process. Which means you have to take action. It’s devoid of external factors, such as your mom, your dad, your partner, etc.
You may have a strong desire to focus on whom you want to be, which is great because you need the vision to pull you. But, pull back for a second. How will you connect to the future version or vision of yourself? How do you make the leap from point A to point B?
It won’t fall on your lap, and you won’t bump into it in the middle of the supermarket aisle. Because for transformation to actually take place, it comes from what you’re doing today. It comes from the decisions you make today; and every day.
There isn’t a waiting period with transformation. It’s a four-part journey that I call SUP F™ in which I’ll explain in a second. Think of when you’re presented with an opportunity to transform, what is your knee jerk reaction?
Do you revert to old habits and patterns of self-protection in the face of conflict? Or do you embrace it as an opportunity to go deeper with yourself? What do you do? And what do others say you do? This is crucial information. Know that feedback is all around you, you can either ignore them, or you can listen quietly to see if there is any truth to it.
How You Can Use SUP F™ To Change Your Patterns
That’s the stepping stone to transformation. In SUP F™, you take yourself through the four-part journey are Self-awareness, Understanding, Practice, and Feedback.
Self-awareness is being present and noticing your patterns, both the ones that serve you and the ones that don’t. For self-awareness to occur, you must eliminate denying your feelings because feelings are information. And you need that information if you want to transform your life.
Understanding happens when you synthesize what you’ve discovered. Combine the facts, the ideas, and everything that surfaced for you to rewrite your narrative. Why is revising your narrative important? Well, for one, your current story is holding you hostage. It’s rooted in outdated information about who you truly are. Rewriting your narrative provides you with a new version and vision of yourself, one that is rooted in empowerment, self-love, and self-respect.
Practicing is the only way for you to know whether you’ve integrated what you’ve learned about yourself. And if your rewritten narrative is something you’ve embodied. Be aware of anything you’re practicing. It takes time, so don’t beat yourself up. It takes time for any new habits to form, especially since your pattern has been with you for decades. Practicing is the stage that needs your utmost patience and self-compassion.
Feedback is the confirmation you need to know if transformation happened. Your environment will let you know, either verbally or nonverbally. As long as you remain alert and aware, you’ll be able to pick up on this feedback.
Receiving feedback will allow you to pull back and readjust. It’s going to strengthen the areas you’re looking to strengthen. Feedback is a stage that you’ll have to exercise humility and grace. You’re challenged to remove the emotion from the situation to think logically. Embrace patience, empathy, and self-compassion during this time.
Transformation isn’t a future activity. It’s a present-day activity — one in which you’re challenged to lean into. The more you lean-in, the more you embrace, then one day, you’ll fall and surrender. When you surrender, you decrease the suffering in your life. Use SUP F™ the next time you’re challenged to transform your life.
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