Growth hurts. But it’s also beautiful. Growth is hard. But, it’s what expands your life. Sometimes, you’re forced to grow. Especially if you had to grow up too fast, in a household that wasn’t able to meet your basic needs, you can take forced growth and turn it into triumph. Where you start is not the same as where you end.

And then there is choice growth. This is where you consciously decide to change parts of your life that aren’t helping you to be the best version of yourself. Which means, you purposely seek out therapists, coaches, healers, teachers and trusted friends to support you in the growth process. But, what if you’re still not seeing any growth? Some of you say you’re open and ready, but in actuality, something is holding you back from embracing it wholly.

Growth is trendy, right? How many of you know someone right now, who says they are doing the work, or they’ve signed up for yet another personal development course––and nothing’s changed. Truthfully, no one wants to be known as the person who isn’t into growth. At least not outwardly, right? If you do not see any growth, you are missing some key ingredients. Do a self-inventory after reading these to see if you’re headed in the growth direction.

“One can choose to go back towards safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.”

Abraham Maslow

Here are 4 key ingredients:

1. Humility: Can you humble yourself enough to listen? Can you humble yourself to engage in some tough conversations? Can you humble yourself enough to not engage in a power struggle where you’re trying to “win”?
2. Responsibility: Can you honestly and genuinely take responsibility for your actions without blaming others? Can you look deeply into your contribution to the situation?
3. Different: What’s going to be different next time? Will we be back here again? Change involves changed behaviors.
4. Feedback: Are you able to take constructive feedback? When someone takes the time to provide you with constructive feedback, it’s because they see the potential in you. What can you do to bridge this gap and get closer to feedback?

These are just a few. If you’re not able to engage in these steps, you’re not ready for growth. And that’s okay, remember growth hurts, and it’s scary. But, what’s the trade-off if you don’t engage? What will you be missing out on?

Not practicing these ingredients as part of the growth process will negatively impact your relationship with others. The quality of your life is dependent on the quality of your relationships. Sure, your physical health matters, but what research has found is that relationships are what determines a fulfilled life. If you’re not in a joyful place, look around you and grow.

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