Denial is misunderstood.
Mostly because you’ve been taught that denial is negative. You’ve been told to step up and face all the circumstances in your life regardless of the way it might make you feel. How can we reframe this in relation to grief?
The world continues to experience collective grief. Most are grieving a world that used to be. Some of you are grieving for people you don’t know. While others are grieving for those they’ve lost. The grief is deep, like the dark depths of a volcanic crater.
If you find yourself with this heaviness, and if you find yourself bursting into tears, then what you’re most likely experiencing is some form of grief. You can’t say bye to the things and people that you lose the way that you thought you could.
A quote that has been transformational in my thinking of grief is, “Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature’s way of letting in only as much as we can handle.” Ross & Kessler
Therefore, denial isn’t a terrible concept when dealing with grief. Denial allows you to take only what you can take on for that moment. And over time you find yourself being able to let more in or even let more go. Use denial to your advantage as your process and move through grief.0