“It’s just who I am.”
Some of you have a fixed mindset. A fixed mindset means you believe some habits, and the way you see yourself are unchangeable. Sure, there might be a few quirks about you that are unique to you and you only. But, I hardly doubt that you’re a tree.
Jim Rohn said, “If you don’t like something change it, you’re not a tree!”
To create change isn’t easy because of what is involved in the process. You have to unlearn and rewire your thoughts and belief systems. You must engage in humility, be open to feedback without hostility or defense, and, most of all. The biggest one of all, you have to be open to the possibility of change.
It’s hard to reach your goals if you first don’t understand your thoughts and belief systems. It’s hard to see changed behaviors within yourself without first diving deep into you, changing those thoughts and beliefs.
I say this a lot because it’s important to hear it regularly. Your thoughts aren’t your own. They were planted there by people who were supposed to nurture you. And most of the time, many of these people did their best with what they had. You can teach what you don’t know or have an awareness of.
Imagine if your thoughts, if left unchanged (especially if they are negative), will have morphed and taken roots like massive oak trees. These thoughts your having are deeply embedded that it suspends all progression in your life. What happens to suspended progress? Stagnation. In other words, you become stuck.
To create change in your life you’ll have to grab everything by their roots.
So, there’s this exercise I have my clients do. It’s called the ABC method. If you have a situation that you’re having a hard time moving past, then this method will be beneficial. But like most things, it requires your active participation and a level of honesty that allows change to take place.
Try the ABC Method to create change in your life:
A: What’s the activating event or situation? (Write down what happened.)
B: What are your beliefs and thoughts about the situation? (Don’t hold back write everything you believe, with honesty and nonjudgement.)
C: What are the consequences, this includes feelings and behaviors? (Think about what will happen if you continue to believe in this belief system.) For instance, what is the long-term pain if you don’t change this “thing” now?
But to create change, to create a life by design and to do work that matters to you, it requires active (pro-active) participation in your life. It requires work. But not the kind of hard work you’re thinking. It’s the kind of work that requires full-blown vulnerability. It requires you to break all the way open.
If you’re willing and open to do this with all the situations you face, you will experience change. So, now you have a choice: ABC your way through life or remain precisely where you are.
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