What can you leave behind in 2019? I’m sure there’s a list somewhere on your phone.
What happened to 2019 though? Do you feel like you were shot out of a cannonball only to land a few feet away from the New Year? Because I do. I can’t believe there are 19 days left in 2019.
This time last year, I visited Taiwan for both Christmas and New Year. Now, I’m writing to you from Puerto Escondido, Mexico. A spectacular tiny beach town a few hours from Oaxaca City, Mexico. Anyway, have you been reflecting throughout the yea? If not, here is a list to get you started. There are six battles to leave behind in 2019 (in no particular order). Each day and every year is about elevation. It’s about being better than you were before.
Six Painstaking Battles To Leave Behind In 2019
Envy. Envy is the idea of wanting something that someone else has. Being envious of others leaves you in a never-ending war with yourself. You find yourself wrestling with extreme forms of social comparison caused by a deep sense of inferiority.
When you find yourself becoming envious of something or someone, ask yourself to reframe envy to admiration. Replacing that energy will allow you to see how unique you are as an individual. This journey is yours, and no one has your footsteps. You are right where you need to be, and you have everything within you to achieve all that you desire.
Limiting beliefs. The most certain thing about limiting beliefs is it doesn’t discriminate. Most people find themselves doubting themselves even when they are qualified. Limiting beliefs disempowers you. So, you find yourself not being able to move forward. Usually, it’s something you desire the most.
How do you move past limiting beliefs? Well, this takes time. It involves you retraining your automatic thoughts. When resistance presents itself (because it will), and a limiting thought comes to mind, practice countering it with an empowering thought.
Know, this will take time for this belief to cement itself to your consciousness. But what further counters limiting beliefs is taking a tiny action step. An action step will increase your confidence, and you’ll reduce the amount of limiting beliefs you hear internally. It will also minimize the impact. You’ll find yourself inching forward and making progress.
Ego. I believe two processes must occur in life before you can free yourself. The process of unbecoming and unlearning. Even Carl Jung said, “The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it.” Therefore, the ego isn’t a terrible concept; we must work to transcend the ego. That’s the work of a lifetime.
False expectations. Having false expectations leads to significant disappointments. There’s a difference between being hopeful and having unrealistic expectations. This is when you rely on external circumstances and people to satisfy the need you have.
Some examples of unrealistic expectations include expecting to be great at everything. The other is wanting to fix or control situations or believing someone can follow through on something that’s not in their realm to do.
To move past having false expectations move through the process of acceptance and accepting your limitations and strengths. Accepting where people are and what they are capable of is a crucial step to reducing disappointments.
Have a conversation with people in your life regarding expectations because there needs to be a mutual agreement in place. People need to feel safe at all times. This space makes it easier for people to express themselves when those expectations cannot be met.
Fake relations. Relationships are supposed to be mutual and grounded in love. Love shouldn’t make you feel bad. Conduct an inventory of your relationships. When you meet, what is the quality of your conversations? What is the content? There was a time where I had a bunch of friends, and all we did was brunch and happy hours. As much as I love to eat, brunch and happy hours weren’t going to elevate my soul. Where do you find yourself spending your time with those around you?
It’s okay to have several friendships for various reasons, but if you’re not able to ultimately be yourself in these friendships, then maybe it’s time to let them go. Ending relationships are hard. Shifting relationships are hard. But, if the relationship depletes more than it replenishes and nourishes you, then it’s time to say goodbye. Remember, relationships are reciprocal. If you’re doing more of the heavy lifting, then it’s time to have some difficult conversations.
Toxic thoughts. Shatter toxic thoughts. These are unhelpful habits you’ve developed because of false messaging. Toxic thoughts can exist in multiple areas of your life. Take a moment to write down as many toxic thoughts that you have.
Then mindmap them until it leads you to the root cause. You’ll find a pattern in the root causes because many will be rooted in ideas like self-doubt, fears, lack of self-love, etc. Once you find the root cause, find ways to bring more acceptance and forgiveness into your life. Find ways to increase your self-love, to manage your fears, and eliminate your self-doubts (or whatever else that surfaces).
I’m sure you might be overwhelmed by this point. The good news is, every one of these is doable for you to undertake. Especially if you don’t go at it alone and seek support from friends, spiritual teachers (if applicable), or professionals. Remember, you have everything within you. False ideas layered and hid your strengths. Because of this, there are barriers to overcome in your life. But not anymore.
Let’s shine even brighter in 2020.
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