Power is tricky. A common theme I’ve noticed is people expressing that they feel powerless. Most of the time, it’s in relationships or their jobs. And considering the world we live in and the constant bad news we receive daily, it’s not surprising that many of us feel powerless.

When we feel as if we don’t have any power in our lives, it causes a downward spiral of vicious negative talk, frustration, and, quite frankly, anger. The natural reaction is to either shut down or give up on the situation at hand or blame someone or something else. There are small ways we can regain our power, but it takes a slow but necessary mindset overhaul.

1. Ask yourself what are the benefits of remaining a victim? This often becomes a habit because it turns into a form of self-defense. When we’re victims, it turns to worry, and we keep the fire under that story burning. It’s another form of self-protection.

2. Let go of blame. This tends to go hand in hand with remaining a victim. Blaming is toxic and will poison you down to your core. Blame is a cycle that’s hard to jump off if we don’t let it go. When we are in blame mode, it doesn’t change the situation, so ask yourself, what are you clinging on to?

The only way to let go of blame is to forgive. We are possible of forgiveness, no matter how painful that experience is. Again, forgiveness doesn’t change what happens to us, but it frees us so we can begin the healing we need. Without practicing the art of forgiveness, we’ll remain stagnant. A suggestion is to write a letter to ourselves if we need to forgive ourselves or write a letter to the one we need to forgive.

3. The way to feel self-empowered again is to develop your core self. We become lost in other people’s ideals for us. We find ourselves going through lives like chameleons and losing our sense of self. This means getting clear on our values and beliefs. It also means understanding what we’re willing to tolerate, and where we draw the line.

4. No is a complete sentence. This took me a long time to feel comfortable with because I’m a known people pleaser. First, practice saying on a smaller scale and work your way up. For example, if someone hands you a flyer on the street and say no, that’s a less painful no, to begin with. Then, maybe returning a meal at a restaurant and saying no, I want something else. And continue to work from there.

5. To regain our power is when we decide that we matter more than others do. The fact that we matter more is a crazy mindset shift. But, if we don’t come first, we’ll always be last. And when we’re last, resentment builds, and our hearts harden like a scab. Everything starts with us, and then it works its way out.

These are just a few ways we can begin to regain our power so we can progress in our lives.

What are other ways can you think of to regain your power?

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