Many of my clients come to me for various reasons in various stages of their lives. But, observably, some themes circulate into vivid and disruptive patterns. And this one is the mother of all themes, and that is low self-worth. Low self-worth is the foundation of the kinds of decisions you make. Your self-worth dictates the kinds of relationships you keep, the kinds of careers you accept, the type of friends that surround you, and how you see yourself. When this is not optimizing at its fullest potential, multiple disruptions persist across the board.
So, how do you reclaim your self-worth? How do you shift the energy so that everything around you is in alignment? Reclaiming your self-worth is life-changing. But, this isn’t a step by step formula. There’s no cookie-cutter way to reclaiming your self-worth. It’s sometimes messy, it often comes with trade-offs, and a profound dark unveiling of your souls fears. But once you’re willing to embrace some of these concepts, reclaiming your self-worth will shift your life towards everything you’ve ever wanted.
When it comes to your self-worth, only one opinion truly matters — your own. And even that one should be carefully evaluated; we tend to be our own harshest critics. Everyone is born capable. Everyone is born without lacking anything. It’s the outside world that distorts your self-image and self-worth over time.
1. Be mindful of your self- talk.
The most important relationship that you’ll have is the one you have with yourself. This is where it starts. It’s noticing what kind of language you’re using with yourself, notice your tone, and how your body feels after you’ve quite frankly berated yourself. Often, people tend to look at the external world to help them feel better, but that’s impossible. The only person that can make you feel better is you.
How can you possibly expect others to respect you if you’re using disempowering and damaging language with yourself? Eliminate any language that attacks your physical, emotional, mental health. Eliminate the use of “shoulds” and “should have” because this is a massive part of the struggle. Should is an incubator for guilt and shame. And guilt and shame will not result in you reclaiming your self-worth. So, change the way you speak to yourself and use your love language on you first.
2. Let go of the comparison trap.
The comparison trap is dangerous. But it’s not only dangerous; it’s faulty thinking. You are not them, and they are not you. There’s this 400 million and one chance that you were born, which means, you’re what we call a snowflake. There’s no one like you. No one has your gifts and talents or your swag. Getting caught in the comparison trap will shackle your feet to the ground, which further deepens the guilt and shame. When you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else, tell yourself how much of a one of a kind human being that you are, even if you don’t believe it. Do it until there’s a subconscious shift.
Remember that everyone’s journey is like a fingerprint. You can’t travel in someone else’s shoes, only your own. The Universe places specific messages tailored to you and no one else. Embrace your journey by honoring your progress. Embrace your journey by realizing that you’re exactly where the Universe has placed you. This is about accepting yourself, accepting your circumstances, and understanding that everything is for your highest good.
3. Lean on borrowed belief.
A coach one said lean on borrowed belief when you have a hard time believing in yourself. And what this means is to find someone who believes in you so deeply that it’s enough of a stepping stone for you to step into yourself. Allow this borrowed belief to carry you through until you’re able to believe in yourself. This could be a friend, a family member, a coach, a spiritual healer, or a therapist.
4. Forgive yourself.
Forgiveness is complicated, yet it’s the biggest domino towards peace and joy. Living from a place of forgiveness comes from the love that you have towards yourself and others. And love is the cure for everything.
- Forgive yourself for all the decisions that you carry guilt for.
- Forgive yourself for not feeling where you thought you would be.
- Forgive yourself for the relationships that didn’t work out.
- Forgive yourself for thinking you knew better when the information you had was all that you had.
Release yourself from these negative anchors. Because you can’t have one foot in the past and one foot in the future and expect the present to be different. This is the beginning of becoming fully present in your life. When you’re fully present in your life, it eliminates any anxious thoughts and feelings that confirm your fears.
2 Action Steps To Take Now
Write a forgiveness letter forgiving yourself of everything you feel guilt in shame about. Then write, I release you right after it. After you finish writing a forgiveness letter, write a love letter to yourself. Share what you love about yourself, both physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. What would someone you love say about you? Release the armor and allow yourself to love yourself first.
Give yourself grace as you practice these above solutions to strengthening and reclaiming your self-worth. Find micro-ways to practice these that aren’t too scary and small enough to conquer. Then ease your way towards the bigger stuff.
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