Being stuck is an illusion.
Sure, the feeling itself is quite powerful. If you separate the emotion from the logistics, you will no longer be stuck. Hold on, my goal here isn’t to devalue your experience. However, as a therapist, I would be doing you a disservice if I didn’t gently challenge your thoughts.
I’ve experienced feeling stuck before. When you’re out of alignment at a job, and you have a strong desire to do something else, yet here you are six years later––no change.
When you’re in a relationship with constant conflict, and you’re in your tenth breakup and year five and still––no change. So, yes, I’ve felt stuck before. And I’ve remained in situations way past their expiration date because I assumed there was nothing I could do. But logically, I was never stuck.
“You’re one decision away from a totally different life.”Mark Batterson
It’s true. One decision could radically change your life. But, you have to feel you’re worthy of that different life. Receiving clarity about what you want in life can’t happen without your participation.
There are steps you can take right now to get the ball rolling because time isn’t on your side when you feel stuck. These are the years that you can’t get back once they’re gone. You owe it to yourself to at least begin the process of becoming unstuck.
Here are some small steps that you can take now:
1. Ask yourself, what are your core values? Often, you’re unsure how to move forward because your values aren’t clear. It’s hard to figure out the next step in your life if you don’t know what you value.
For example, I value self-development, which means whichever work environment I’m in, it has to have some form of access to professional and personal development. You can find many assessments that you can take online so you can get clear on your values.
But in the meantime, I’ve put together this massive list of values that you can choose from, so you can begin to take action. At first sight, you might feel overwhelmed. So, throw the net wide, then pay attention to any themes that are present in the values you’ve chosen. Then narrow it down in a way that paints a picture that resonates with you and the type of life you want to create.
Most of the time, when you’re feeling stuck, you find yourself ruminating over the idea of being stuck, and you ask too many why questions. Which, of course, keeps you thinking you’re stuck.
Try asking yourself what and how questions instead. Such as, what can I do right now to move forward. Or, how can I move towards x, y, or z? The only why question I would suggest is, why am I feeling this feeling now? You might be restless, and your emotions are a reliable indicator of the next step to take.
3. Lastly, take a personality test; these are not mumbo jumbo! Had I took one decade ago, I would’ve known what kind of environments and interactions would work best for me. I suggest both The Gallup (which is now known as Clifton Strengths) and The DISC Assessment by Tony Robbins.
The DISC is free but The Gallup costs, but it’s worth the investment. These personality tests will give you a clear idea of how you work best, what kind of jobs suit you based on your personality attributes, and what types of environments will help you to thrive.
There’s no reason not to get started, even if it’s the tiniest step that you can take. These tips are enough to get you started. In my six-week coaching program, The Liberated Creative: Own Your Time, Reignite Your Joy & Do Work That Matters, we spend a ton of time on clarity because sometimes you think you’re clear about one thing, then when you do the clarity exercises, you realize it morphs into something else. You become even clearer.
I don’t believe feeling stuck is negative. Again, your emotions are feedback to what is or isn’t working in your life. It’s a habit to brush them off, but when you take a moment to listen, you’ll receive much-needed answers. So, remove the emotion behind feeling stuck and map out logical steps that you can choose to move the needle so you can become unstuck.
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